About
I like the word "about." In addition to its use here in conveying some sort of connection with or relationship to this website, it has many other uses. It's clearly preferable to "around" in certain cases, as the University of Victoria's Writer's Guide points out: "'About thirty pythons' is more accurate than 'Around thirty pythons,' which sounds like somewhere one would rather not be." In the declassified Navajo Code Talkers' Dictionary, it is rendered as WOLA-CHI-A-MOFFA-GAHN, a mouthfull which means "ant fight." The Japanese use it quite negatively, as in "You're too abauto." I get that a lot.
I suppose an "About" page has to answer some of those questions that would otherwise appear embarrassing on a "FAQ" page, such as, "Who are you?" "Who are you really?" and, of course, "Why are you doing this?" Never fear, the answers are here.
"Who are you?"
Well, what do you want to know? I was born and brought up in the United States, lived in Japan for about 14 years, then moved here, to Thailand, where I’ve been for about 5 years. I’m a freelance translator, Japanese to English, and in my humble opinion, I’m getting pretty good at it. If you think you might ever need the services of a qualified translator, or just want to know more serious stuff about me, check out my profile (intended for serious audiences, no sense of humor required). And if you came here via my profile page from an external link, you are a potential client, and I love you with all my heart.
I removed the photo of myself from my profile page. I honestly don’t know what a photo has to do with translation, but a lot of translators paste their photos to their resumes and stick them on the internet. Some translators include pictures of their whole family. They look out at you pleadingly, almost begging for work. At least mine was a nonchalant, if somewhat patronizing, pose. Anyway, if you want to see a photo of me (but why would you?), you'll have to look around my site.
"Who are you really?"
In his autobiography entitled The Clever Wolf and Poor Stupid Polly, Catherine Storr's fictional wolf, after considerable deliberation, penned this opening line: "Fortunately, I was born." I think that's where his story ended, too. Anyway, that's pretty much how I feel. My parents were, and still are, great, and my three older brothers never beat me up. Of course, nobody's childhood is perfect. My parents made me go to school and sometimes I'd have to pick up rotten apples around the yard. I used to think my parents bought 15 acres of defunct apple orchard and built a house there just so they could torture me with this chore. Worse things must have happened to me, most likely at the hands of my brothers, but I've probably blocked it out. On the bright side, there was usually some pornography badly hidden about the house.
I like to think of myself as an underachiever. Teachers were always complaining about my "wasted potential." And there was always the difficulty of going to the same schools and having the same teachers nearly a decade after my brothers. I couldn't help thinking that these teachers could remember and compare the scores my brothers got on exactly the same tests. Like a lot of kids, I lacked self-esteem. Then, at about the age of fourteen, I discovered that if not the studious type, at least I was athletically gifted.
But what turned me in this easterly direction, I often muse. It's easy to blame my brother Steve for allowing me to read his copy of Shogun when I was at too impressionable an age, or for taking me to a few Karate lessons. But now I can look at things more objectively, and I think puppy love was at the root of my later departure for different lands. When I was in second grade, I fell in love with a girl from the Philippines. She didn't return the following year, and the thought of her made me turn the desk globe I had in my room to the other side of the world in search of those islands that I couldn't even spell. It's quite a feeling; time stands still. The mysterious raised relief mountain ranges of Indonesia, Japan, China, under my fingertips. It's like a voyage of sorts. Eventually I found the Philippine Island, circled them, and forgot them. I wonder if that globe's still around.
So, who am I really? I don't know. Perhaps this website is a vehicle for figuring that out.
"Why are you doing this?"
Ah, at last a question I can answer easily. I'm doing this for entertainment, because I like to write, but also to keep friends and family informed. And, as my projects progress, it will be nice to get feedback from as many people as possible. At least one of you should notice it if I start to build the roof before I put the walls up. That's what the "Idiot Alarm," placed strategically at the bottom of each page, is for. I'm also hoping to put together a lot of regional information that may come in handy for expats living nearby or anybody else who happens to come this way.